Bata, Bata, Paano Ka Ginawa?

Ako ay humanga sa pelikulang ito sapagkat talagang makikita dito ang tunay na kalagayan na nangyayari sa isang tipikal na pamilyang Pilipino. Makikita ang tumpak na pagganap ng bawat isang miyembro ng pamilya. Katulad ng pelikula, marami sa mga pamilyang Pilipino ngayon ang pangalawang ama na siyang tumuturing sa anak ng babae sa unang asawa na parang sarili niyang anak. Napakarami ang ganitong pamilya sa Pilipinas. Ito ay maaaring ang unang asawa ay hindi magkasundo at nariyang maghihiwalay at magkakaroon ng panibagong asawa kasal man o hindi. Kung kaya’t ang mga anak ay nagkakaroon ng pag-aalitan lalo na kapag hindi lingid sa kanila ang kanilang tunay na kalagayan.

Sa sitwasyon ng pamilya sa pelikulang ito, hindi lingid sa mga anak kung sino ang kanilang ama. Mayroong magandang naidulot ito at mayroon din naming hindi magandang naidulot ito sa relasyon ng bawat isa. Ang isang hindi magandang naidulot nito sa kanila ay iyong pag-aasaran ng magkapatid na humahantong sa away ay pag-aalitan. Hindi ito maiiwasan sapagkat sila ay bata pa at talagang dumarating ang ganitong pagkakataon. Katulad na lamang ng eksena kung saan ang magkapatid ay nag-away at pinagdedebatehan nila kung sino sa kanilang mga ama ang mas mahal ng kanilang ina. Nakakatuwa man ngunit ito ay reyalidad nang nangyayari at patuloy na nangyayari sa mga tipikal na pamilyang Pilipino kahit na nga sila ay mayroong iisang ama. Hindi talaga maiwasan ang mga ganitong pag-aasaran sa parte ng mga anak. Ang napansin ko sa pelikulang ito ay hindi pinili ng kanilang ina ang itago ang katotohanan sa kanila. Ipinaliliwanag niya ang mga bagay sa abot ng kanyang makakaya upang maunawaan siya ng kanyang mga anak. Hindi sekreto ang mga bagay na dapat ay talagang nalalaman ng kanyang mga anak at karapatan din naman nilang malaman ang mga iyon.

Ang maganda din naming naidulot nito sa mga bata ay minahal nila ang isa’t isa nang may pagtanggap sa katotohanang sila man ay kalahating magkapatid lamang. Ito ay mapapatunayan doon sa panahong pinili ng lalaking anak ang manatiling makasama ang kanyang ina at kapatid sapagkat mahal na mahal niya sila. Hindi siya sumama sa tunay niyang ama papunta sa ibang bansa dahil mamimiss nya ang kanyang bunsong kapatid.

Kung iisipin, mas gugustuhin ng karamihan sa mga pamilyang Pilipino ang itago ang mga ganitong bagay mula sa mga anak sa kadahilanang hindi pa nila ito lubos na mauunawaan. O ang iba naman ay talagang itatago na lamang ito at huwag nang ipaalam pa.

Mayroon akong kakilala na mayroong eksaktong sitwasyon na tulad sa pelikulang ito. Sila din ay dalawang magkapatid na babae ngunit magkaiba ang ama. Ang unang asawa ng kanilang ina ay kanyang hiniwalayan at kanya ngang kasama na ngayon ang bago niyang minamahal na siya namang ama ng bunsong anak. Hindi rin lingid sa mga anak ang katotohanang iyon. Ang kaibahan nga lang ay makikitang mas pabor ang ina sa bunsong anak. Naitanong ko ito sa kanya kung bakit ganito, ito ay dahil na rin sa pagbabahagi ng panganay na anak sa akin tungkol sa bagay na ito. Marami siyang hinanakit sa kanyang ina, dagdag pa dito ang di matapos na pang-aasar ng kanyang bunsong kapatid nang hindi man lamang sinasaway ng mga magulang. Naisip kong baka makatulong ako sa kalagayang iyon at naging positibo naman ito sa ina sapagkat kaibigan ko sya. Nakita niya din ang kanyang pagkakamaling iyon. At kanyang naibahagi din na iyon ay totoo sapagkat naaalala niya daw ang kanyang unang asawa sa panganay niyang anak. Doon niya napagtanto na walang kinalaman ang anak sa away nila ng kanyang unang asawa.

Sa kalagayang ng pelikulang ito, makikita din ang pagiging maboka ni Leah (Vilma Santos). Sinasabi nya talaga ang mga bagay sa tamang termino nito, maging bastos man ito sa pandinig ng iba. Nakita ko ang pagiging malakas niya bilang isang babae. Kaya niyang tumayo at lumaban sa hamon ng buhay gaano man ito kabigat. Maraming hamon ang dumating sa buhay nya, una na dito ang pagharap niya sa kanyang mga anak at ipaliwanag sa kanila ang katotohanang sila ay may magkaibang ama at pag-aaruga sa kanila sa abot ng kanyang makakaya, kasama na ang pagmulat nya sa mga ito sa kalayaang sila ang dapat magdesisyon para sa kanilang sarili. Binigyan niya sila ng kalayaang mag-isip at magpasya kahit na sa murang edad pa sila. Pangalawa, ang muling paghihiwalay nila ng kanyang pangalawang asawa sa kadahilanang mayroon din pala itong kinakasamang iba. Pangatlo, ay ang pagharap sa mga kababaihang mayroong kanya-kanya ding problemang kinakaharap sa kanilang buhay. Hinahangaan ko siya sa pagiging isang malakas na babae. Isa siyang huwaran para sa mga kababaihan. Hindi siya nagpadaig sa mga unos ng buhay. Hindi siya napanghinaan ng loob upang gawin ang mga bagay na makakabuti para sa kanyang pamilya. Itinayo niya ang kanyang sarili nang taas noo. Anuman ang dinanas niya sa buhay at anuman ang naririnig niyang mga salita mula sa ibang tao ay hindi naging dahilan upang siya ay sumuko. Kundi naging matatag siya. At ito ay itinuturo niya sa kanyang mga anak maging doon sa mga iba pang kababaihan. Tunay nga na kapupulutan ito ng aral lalong lalo na ng mga kababaihan.

The Bridges at Madison County

The Bridges at the Madison County is a movie of love, frustration, unhappiness, desire, and hope of a typical woman, mother and a wife. It is true that every woman has different kind of struggles in life and in different situations. In the case of Francesca, a mother of two college teenagers and a house wife, she has a family but she does not feel the happiness that a mother and wife should have. She is happy to see that her family is living very normally like any other families but she seemed to have a lot of unfulfilled space in her heart.

Francesca portrays a very typical woman in this movie – a mother who does everyday house chores and a wife who serves her husband, until when a stranger photographer came to ask direction from her. That is when her life had changed even for just a little time of experiencing the liberty of being a woman away from the everyday routine as a housewife.

I could say that Francesca was very much aware of those times when she and that stranger man met. She knew what she was doing not thinking if it was wrong or a right thing to do. What she knew is that she was acting like who she really is as a woman.

Francesca made me sympathize with her, maybe because I am a woman too. Although I really don’t know how it is to be in her situation. I sympathize with her for desiring the things she wanted for herself when she was still single. She met and married a man from whom she bore two children with. But she realized that in that marriage everything in her life changed as well. She was like driven away from the things that she wanted to do and the things she wanted to have. It is because the reality is that, marriage is a different phase in everybody’s life. But I believe that marriage should be as happy and fulfilling part in a woman’s life as she was when she was single. She still can achieve the things that she wanted and feel the fulfillment in her heart. She wanted to be whole as a woman. And that was her dilemma.

When that stranger photographer Robert came, she realized many things about herself. Aside from having feelings with this guy, she discovered that she can also have the things which can bring her happiness. She envied Robert for he can do things which he loves to do. Taking photos is his passion. Francesca learned that the desire of her heart to be happy is just fair for her to have even though she has a family to be taken cared of. She learned how love can actually bring a lot of happiness in her heart and that’s what she felt being with Robert. She laughed like she did not laugh in ages. She can be as she actually is. She was very happy and that happiness but sadly it just ended for four days.

Even though that event in her life was just temporary, Francesca did the right thing. As what I said earlier, she knew what she was doing. She let herself to act and be as whom she really is in that four days – felt and used liberty she had, loved a man so heartedly and cherished every moment with him… but she made the right decision in the end. She did not go with Robert which will make her leave her family.

As for me, Francesca had been very sad that she actually indulged herself to the wrong thing (which is true for she has a family). I cannot deny the reality that she really did wrong. It is just not fair for her husband and for her children. But it is not only her fault because her family has their fault too on this thing. Her husband seemed to be very busy about life as a family man that he did not notice how sad his wife got. They did not have the moments from which he and his wife enjoyed to do. They were like sucked into a life of having a family and live with it.

I learned essential things from watching this movie. I learned that building relationship everyday with loved ones is very important. Because, no matter how good a relationship started if not working it out everyday will be destroyed in the end.

I remembered a computer game “SIMS” which I really love to play because that game is a life game. Sims are people just like humans who also have basic needs like food, shelter, and love. In that game, a player should fulfill his/her sims’ needs. They need to be fed, sent to school, graduate, get a job, earn money, live a comfortable life with comfortable stuffs in the house made for them… they need to have someone to talk to, companion, build relationship with, marry and have family. These needs have to be always maintained high in percentage because they’ll be sick if hungry, frustrated if not getting what they desire to have or achieve or they will fight with the people around them if not. For example, if an adult male sim established to have 100% relationship with a female sim, get married and have children, they still need to talk, to play, to caress, to kiss, to hug and love each other and meet each other’s needs although they have differences in personalities. Same with their relationship towards their children and friends. It is funny because if they don’t agree with each other’s topic, you can see the minus sign above their heads which means that their relationship level decreases.

That is why humans should be working on to their relationships…everybody. In the case of this movie, that is what is lacking in Francesca’s family. Everybody has fault because they did not seem to reach out each other and open their thoughts and talk about things regarding everything. The percentage of their relationship has gone very low and poor. That is why problems occurred.

God has made man and woman to love each other and cherish each other. It is still very important to have prayer relationships. In Francesca’s situation, at the end of the movie, her children understood her enough that they learned from her and are eager and willing now to fix their own relationships with their own families. For me, that is what’s very important. Family is really important and a very essential part in everybody’s life. I admire my mother for forgiving my father for being unfaithful before. And that is because church people helped her to do so. We were young in that time but my mother said that we were a lot of help for her to overcome that situation. My father is a very good father to us now and I could say that relationships within the family have been restored. This movie is worth watching for.